How to Make a Cherry Red Guitar
Ask your parents to invest in a Fender or Gibson guitar for you.

1) open ten jars of the sweetest, reddest maraschino cherries you can find
2) in a large barrel, squash cherries with bare feet until smooth, about 4 hours
3) find a giant paintbrush at a neighbor's garage sale, dip brush in mashed cherries
4) slowly paint your guitar coating each fret to a bright cherry high gloss
5) sample flavor as you go
6) when dry, rock out!